Stillness is the Move (Adam)

AM:
I love endive becauce it looks likes a little canoe. Sad.
In these little canoes, I layered turkey, white cheddar, sprouts, finely diced celery, and a dressing made out of light sour scream, whole seed mustard, lime juice, and kosher salt.



LATE AM:
Lowfat lemon yogurt that I had freezing for a few hours. Yum!

EARLY PM:
Attempting to fight the urge to binge as I type this.
So incredibly frustrating how I can do so well one day (see yesterday) then completely snap the next. I just want to feel full right now and I don’t know why.

Standing in the kitchen, I ate a large bread roll with a mountain of butter along with some turkey, cheese, and sprouts. Not a massive amount of food by any means — But I ate it midlessly and it is the beginning of what can often turn into a binge situation where I will fill myself until sick. Sad how one bread roll can be a gateway into a days worth of overeating.

Even if I didn’t have a full on binge, I hate eating with regret. A terrible and useless feeling.

PM:
Got through that earlier bout of emotional eating with little to no damage. It’s moments like this that I realize I am so far from having a regular relationship with food. Improve improve improve!



Familiar dinner tonight. Cooked white cabbage with yellow onion, carrot, celery, water chestnuts, lime juice, and a serrano pepper (ouch!) — all cooked in the smallest amount of butter and extra virgin olive oil. I topped it off with a spoonful of light sour cream - I use it on everything! :)

Wish me luck with tomorrows weekly get-together! Hopefully I will control myself better than last week.

Love you, cupcake!

- Adam